Setbacks

I suppose I haven't posted in a while because my life has been such a roller coaster of events and emotions. I'd rather just sail along smooth waters, if you know what I mean. But if my life were nothing but smooth sailing, I would remain all that I am and never become who I am meant to be.

I like to improve and progress. I'm proud of myself when I have a victory over some old habit or negative thinking. Life is good on those days. What baffles me is when I have my goals set and I am steadily working toward them and then there is a setback. Obviously, I know setbacks happen and come many times from outside sources – a crying baby, a defiant daughter, unexpected responsibilities. However, the baffling ones are the ones that I cause myself. Nothing other than my very own weakness or lack of self-control causes these. And I wonder, now why did I do that when it was so very against my goals?

I'm not really even sure what the answer is. Emotions usually are the trigger. But perhaps the main culprit is simply distraction. I have goals and standards I want to live up to, but if they are not constantly in front of me, then sometimes I just flat out forget or ignore them. They get “back-burnered” in my mind. Or, perhaps I lose faith in myself that I can achieve them and part of me gives up under pressure.

I do know that when I get off track, the one thing that is guaranteed to help me get back on is prayer. Why is prayer the answer to so many of my blog posts? I guess I talk about prayer a lot. Hmm. Maybe it's because it works! Sincere prayer has such a centering effect. The Lord brings out the sorrow I feel for my mistakes and replaces it with forgiveness and hope. When even I lose confidence, I know that the Lord will always believe in me. Thank goodness!