All is Well

I suppose I've been somewhat silent for a time on my blog. I have had many impressions come and go as to things I ought to write about. Teachings of the Savior that I am learning line by line, little by little. I seem to recall praying about a year and a half ago that the Lord would purify me and help me to be truly “born again” into a new person who is very Christlike and not so … like my old self. As I have endured the trials he's sent my way, I have learned many things. Much of that learning has come from reacting the wrong way first – with harsh words or feelings - and then later coming to understand how the Savior would act. I'm trying to bring myself into alignment with Him. I think I am succeeding now more than I did a year and a half ago. For that, I am grateful, though it took trials, study and prayer to get me here.

Wendy Nelson said that change is like turning a corner. When we truly make a deeply heartfelt change in our lives, we cannot look back and see the old self. It is gone from us. We do not react the same way we used to. We are made new through the power of Christ's Atonement as we faithfully pray for him to strengthen us, because our own strength and determination is not enough. I testify that he truly answers those prayers. He really can change our hearts and make us so that we feel and think differently – better – than we used to.

When the possibility of losing a loved one arises, it seems the most exquisite trial one could face. All sorts of reactions may result. Yet to me, more devastating than mortal death is the spiritual death of a loved one, or their lack of spiritual health to whatever degree, or the death of a family or marriage. One of the most heart wrenching pains I feel as I live this life on earth is that sorrow that comes as I witness unnecessary pain in the lives of those I love, (myself included). When we live beneath our potential. When we make it harder than it needs to be because we try to do it all by ourselves, without the Lord. When we lack the faith to pray and ask for help as the scriptures say (over and over again!), “Ask and it shall be given unto you. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you.” I can still hear the tune that I learned as a child singing these words.

Though I know that each person is at his or her own point in their lifelong journey of learning, it is still painful to know that there are so many blessings our Heavenly Father would pour out upon them, if they simply obeyed His word, humbled themselves, and asked for help. Asking is not the whole deal, though. There are many who would say, “Now wait just a minute, I've been asking for help for years and I've got nothing to show for it.” There is more than just frantically asking when you feel hopeless and helpless. Or asking out of despair because you just can't take anymore, or because you just feel lost.

He will give unto you, but what good is a gift if he to whom it is given doth not receive it? He will help you find what you need, but you have to reach out and embrace it. He will open the door for you, but you have to walk through it. In other words, BELIEVE in his promise. He can change you, much easier than you can change yourself. Faith is to be acted upon, not just thought about. We must listen for what he tells us to act on. We must rise up from our knees, determined to obey His instruction.

Death is not really scary to me. It is difficult to handle, for certain. There are missed opportunities, and longings, and heartache. But one of the principles of the gospel that attracted me the most when I first learned of it was this: Death is only one step in our eternal progression. It is not something to be feared. Mourned, surely, but ultimately we can be at peace about it. Even those who perhaps were not quite yet prepared to meet God will have the chance, on the other side of the Veil, to continue progressing, repenting, gaining understanding and knowledge, reviewing the lessons learned from their earth life, and even receiving the blessings ordinances such as baptism. As they progress, they are prepared to share this glad message of Christ with others who are still trying to understand. They are even allowed to watch over the family they left behind on the earth and help them along their journey.

So when we are presented with a trial that may lead to the physical death of someone we love, or even ourselves, we can pray for peace and receive it. We can have faith and trust in the Lord. We can and should hope for a miracle. But if it is indeed time for someone to pass through the Veil, we can exercise faith and allow it to drive us to spiritually grow, knowing we will see them again one day.

A few months after I first met my husband, a dear friend of mine died suddenly in a car accident. He was 19. I was hysterical. But Heath was at peace. His amazing ability to be relaxed about it was so comforting to me. He said that perhaps this young man had a mission to fulfill on the other side of the Veil. Something important that Heavenly Father needed him to do. I was so shocked and intrigued by this incredibly peaceful eternal perspective. Now I know that we must trust in the Lord in the face of death. He knows more than we do. He knows what we can handle. He knows what we might regret and how much that can teach us and propel us into spiritual growth. Perhaps as a loving Father in Heaven, He allows physical suffering, and even death, in order to prevent the more important spiritual death that may take us if we allow it to. It is one of the trials we knew we might face when we came here to the earth. Yet we took fresh courage and came anyway, knowing our God would never forsake us.

A hymn we sang at church today includes the line: “And if we die before our journey's through, Happy Day, All is Well.” I believe it would take a long period of mourning before I could sing with a full heart that All is Well. But because of what I know to be true in the gospel of Jesus Christ, I know that day would come and I would “make that chorus swell. All is well. All is well.”