Unconditional Love

In my life, I’ve had the experience of watching other people (and myself) make choices and express attitudes that are detrimental to themselves and others. I’ve seen them hurt others, whether knowingly or not. I’ve seen them justify and rationalize their own actions and attitudes as they’ve passed judgment on others.

One time, I was so frustrated with someone that I was on the brink of telling them (in the most polite way possible, of course), that they were hurting others and themselves and why couldn’t they just show some unconditional love, for heaven’s sake!

Then someone told me that solutions like that aren’t really solutions; they usually make things worse. So I restrained myself.

We humans are just too good at fault-finding sometimes. Fault-finding is kind of an interesting term. It all depends on your basic attitude toward people whether their faults are like neon stickers popping out all over their forehead until you can’t see their face anymore or whether we actually have to look with a magnifying glass to find a person’s faults. And if we would need to look closer, do we take the precious time from our lives to actually do the looking?

Even if we do notice a fault or two or two hundred in someone else, do we actually point it out to them? Do we do it indirectly, with even the subtlest of hints because we just cannot restrain ourselves from fixing their faults? Or do we just waste precious time worrying over them?

The likelihood is that those with whom you would find fault have already found plenty of faults in themselves. How many people do you know who pat themselves on the back at the end of the day?

How many do you know who weep with guilt over the things they wish they could have done differently? Who smile at you when you see them, but on the inside they are decaying with self-loathing.

You might say, but the Savior pointed out when people had wrong thoughts or feelings, or were disobeying God’s law. He told people their faults. Why can’t I? I’m a follower of Christ, I want others to be more Christ like, wouldn’t I just be helping them by gently telling them what they could do better?

Well, there are just a few small differences between us and the Savior.
1) He’s perfect. We’re not.
2) He fully forgives those who repent. We don’t even have the power to always know when a person is penitent about their sins. And whether they are or not, we’re expected to forgive them anyway.
3) He unconditionally loves everyone. We – well – we can (and should) try.

I was weeding the garden when it hit me. I was so angry with someone for being judgmental and hurtful and I was about to go judge and hurt them.

If we really want to help someone do better, shouldn’t we just love them unconditionally? (It’s all I wanted this person to do.) Then if the Lord truly prompts us to “reprove” someone, it will be in the context of love and could actually have the potential to inspire change. We can also pray for them and have faith that the Lord knows how to teach them better than we do.

How do you like it when someone gently tells you what you could do better? Yeah, remember the last time that happened? Occasionally this can be well received in a deeply loving relationship, but usually it only hurts.

Now, do you remember the last time God gently told you what you could do better? How did you respond to that? Isn’t it much easier to accept correction from someone who unconditionally loves you?