When You Remember Me, I Will Strengthen You

Our goal as a family this New Year is to focus on trying to feel the Spirit of the Lord more often in our home. As parents, we are also trying hard to make some changes in the way we discipline. We are trying to be more consistent, have more logical consequences, not allow misbehavior, and do all of that while speaking respectfully to our children. I can't believe how amazingly difficult it is to speak respectfully to our children. We are trying to be firm, but loving at the same time, and not allow anger to show through. Unfortunately, we are all too often angry as we discipline and our poor daughter picks up more on a feeling of disapproval of her than of the behavior.

So, to help with this, we have made feeling the Spirit a higher priority. Of course, whenever we set this as a goal, Satan kicks it up a notch, too. So, we've been facing illness and a demanding, fussy baby for a while now, as well as other stresses. Not as huge as the trials many others face, and I am grateful our trials are “so small.” But, they are just enough to push us over the edge of anger and shortness with our children on a daily basis. So, in the midst of all this, I've found myself having to pray for strength to keep trying and not give up.

I am noticing a pattern in my life. Whenever I am having a problem that I am struggling with and trying to overcome, I always realize that in order to fix that problem, I need to have the Spirit of the Lord with me. To have the Spirit of the Lord with me, I have to do things that will invite Him to be with me, such as obey the commandments, pray, and study the scriptures and ponder them.

In our church, every Sunday during Sacrament Meeting, the congregation partakes of the bread and water. These are emblems of the body and blood of the Savior Jesus Christ. When the priest kneels to bless the bread and water, included in his sacred prayer is a promise. When I partake of the bread and water, I am promising God that I will “always remember Him.” All promise and partake “that they may have His Spirit to be with them.”

So I've been praying, “Help me, help me.” Tonight, I needed to do the dishes, but my back was aching like crazy (the baby is a twenty-something pound chunk!). But I had faith that if I could just make myself stand in front of the sink, I would be able to go through the motions and at least get the dishwasher loaded. As I was doing so, I felt like I should sing a hymn. So I began singing, “I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” which I have a laminated copy of in the kitchen so that I can learn the words. By the end of the first verse, it was as though I had completely forgotten about the pain in my back. When I realized this, a comforting feeling came over me that was unmistakably the Spirit of the Lord and a thought came to my mind: When you remember me, then I will strengthen you.

With gratitude for the lesson, I realized that this sacred promise I make each Sunday is the key to receiving all the help I need. It's as though my act of remembering Him is an act of faith and it opens the door for Him to bless and strengthen me, much more so than He will if I am forgetting Him throughout the days and weeks. How often do I focus on what I could be doing better, what the children are doing wrong, what I am doing wrong, what my husband is doing wrong and how miserably we are failing? If I would just change my focus and remember Who it is I am trying to emulate through all this, then perhaps I will be strengthened and changed so that I can do what is right. I'm grateful that inviting the Spirit is as simple as singing a sacred song.

Hope, Purpose and Enduring to the End

Most of you know that since my last post, I have given birth to a beautiful son. I've always been a natural, no drugs kinda girl. I believe God made my body to be able to do this and women have been giving birth since the beginning of time, so I should be able to as well. I did okay with my first one and so I thought I would be fine with this one, too. Well, everything went okay until the end and I sort of panicked when I felt the pain, which was worse this time. The only choice I had was to go on and finish. It didn't matter that I was exhausted or felt that I didn't have the strength or capacity to handle it. I had to get my son here and no one else could do it for me. Of course, once I was holding him, I forgot the pain and felt the sweet joy and relief that only a mother knows when her children are finally in her arms.

I have since reflected on the physical pain that so much of the human race has lived through. The pain of torture as a prisoner of war, the pain of chronic illness or disabling injury. People who have lived in past ages who had to undergo such physical hardship as I will never have to know. How could they have done it? Why do our spirits not flee our bodies in fear and shed the mortal shell to which they are bound? Where does the will to continue come from? The strength to keep fighting? I suppose Jesus Christ was the only being who really had the power to “commend [His] spirit” into the Father's hands. Even He shrank from the bitter cup with which He was presented.

There was a moment during my pain when I wept and mentally called on God for strength and help. I looked at my husband and it was as though my spirit received strength from him and from God. After that, I was able to do what I needed to do.
In those moments when the pain is excruciating, what is it that helps us through? My pain had a very clear purpose. But what about when there is no clear purpose? When we simply must have faith that God knows the purpose even if we can't see it?

I came to realize that the same thing that motivated me is what motivates any and all creatures to “endure to the end.” I had hope that my suffering would end and that it had a purpose: to bring one of God's beautiful children into the world.

Whether we know the specific purpose or not, as followers of Jesus Christ, we know that all our suffering is at the very least to teach us something and that we will not be given anything that we cannot bear. We have hope that no matter what happens now, all will turn out well in the end.

The scripture comes to mind, “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.”

When I Am Weak, Then Am I Strong

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul gives us the above statement. After a mostly pleasant morning became colored by my frustrations and annoyances, I read this and wondered, now what do you mean, Paul? When I am Weak, Then am I Strong? How exactly?

The matter required further delving into the scriptures to understand. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 is given after Paul tells us he prayed three times for the Lord to remove his “thorn in the flesh” from him. The scripture says, “And he (the Lord) said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I (Paul) rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (I added the quotes and names for clarification).

Okay, Paul, so what you are saying is that because you have weaknesses, there are qualities in your character which need the power of Christ to change. When the power of Christ is there with you, helping you, you are strong because of His presence.

But what about how I was frustrated this morning? I didn't feel strong. I didn't feel Christ working in me. Of course, I realized, that's because I wasn't letting Him. I mean, I was giving into my weakness instead of asking for His help with it. Without His help, when I am weak, I'm just weak.

I studied further. One of the footnotes led me to this scripture: “And if men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27).

Ah. So the next time in the same situation, if I am humble and aware of my weakness, and if I slow down and take the time to petition the Lord for His help, then He will help me to change my direction and choose actions that are more reflective of a Christlike nature. Sometimes the petition may just be a 10 second prayer and a few deep breaths. Other times, a weakness or distress may feel so strong that it overcomes our whole souls for a time. When this happens, we must fall to our knees as well, and humbly petition the Lord for His help in whatever capacity we need. We can faithfully offer prayer to Him for as long as it takes until His healing peace and comfort, even His strength and grace overwhelms our souls and changes us from someone who feels out of control into someone who can handle anything.