When You Remember Me, I Will Strengthen You

Our goal as a family this New Year is to focus on trying to feel the Spirit of the Lord more often in our home. As parents, we are also trying hard to make some changes in the way we discipline. We are trying to be more consistent, have more logical consequences, not allow misbehavior, and do all of that while speaking respectfully to our children. I can't believe how amazingly difficult it is to speak respectfully to our children. We are trying to be firm, but loving at the same time, and not allow anger to show through. Unfortunately, we are all too often angry as we discipline and our poor daughter picks up more on a feeling of disapproval of her than of the behavior.

So, to help with this, we have made feeling the Spirit a higher priority. Of course, whenever we set this as a goal, Satan kicks it up a notch, too. So, we've been facing illness and a demanding, fussy baby for a while now, as well as other stresses. Not as huge as the trials many others face, and I am grateful our trials are “so small.” But, they are just enough to push us over the edge of anger and shortness with our children on a daily basis. So, in the midst of all this, I've found myself having to pray for strength to keep trying and not give up.

I am noticing a pattern in my life. Whenever I am having a problem that I am struggling with and trying to overcome, I always realize that in order to fix that problem, I need to have the Spirit of the Lord with me. To have the Spirit of the Lord with me, I have to do things that will invite Him to be with me, such as obey the commandments, pray, and study the scriptures and ponder them.

In our church, every Sunday during Sacrament Meeting, the congregation partakes of the bread and water. These are emblems of the body and blood of the Savior Jesus Christ. When the priest kneels to bless the bread and water, included in his sacred prayer is a promise. When I partake of the bread and water, I am promising God that I will “always remember Him.” All promise and partake “that they may have His Spirit to be with them.”

So I've been praying, “Help me, help me.” Tonight, I needed to do the dishes, but my back was aching like crazy (the baby is a twenty-something pound chunk!). But I had faith that if I could just make myself stand in front of the sink, I would be able to go through the motions and at least get the dishwasher loaded. As I was doing so, I felt like I should sing a hymn. So I began singing, “I Know That My Redeemer Lives,” which I have a laminated copy of in the kitchen so that I can learn the words. By the end of the first verse, it was as though I had completely forgotten about the pain in my back. When I realized this, a comforting feeling came over me that was unmistakably the Spirit of the Lord and a thought came to my mind: When you remember me, then I will strengthen you.

With gratitude for the lesson, I realized that this sacred promise I make each Sunday is the key to receiving all the help I need. It's as though my act of remembering Him is an act of faith and it opens the door for Him to bless and strengthen me, much more so than He will if I am forgetting Him throughout the days and weeks. How often do I focus on what I could be doing better, what the children are doing wrong, what I am doing wrong, what my husband is doing wrong and how miserably we are failing? If I would just change my focus and remember Who it is I am trying to emulate through all this, then perhaps I will be strengthened and changed so that I can do what is right. I'm grateful that inviting the Spirit is as simple as singing a sacred song.

Perfect Love Casteth Out All Fear

Today I wanted to record the pure joy I felt as a mother watching my daughter overcome a fear of hers and speak into the microphone at church – in front of all those people watching her. The children's presentation was this weekend and my four-year-old had a few short lines to say. It was a blessing that I am a teacher of her age group. Though she is not normally in my class, I was able to be the one helping her at the microphone, whispering her part into her ear.

At the last practice, she was too afraid to do it. So, this past week, I prayed about how to help her overcome this because I knew it would be a real stepping stone for her to become more brave at being in front of crowds. She doesn't like all the eyes to be on her in any situation. So I knew this would be a great opportunity for her to feel brave and feel proud of herself and that she could do things that are a little scary.

As I prayed, the Holy Ghost impressed me that I ought to search for scriptures about fear to share with my daughter. I share a very short verse of scripture with her each day, so I started looking and found the one in D&C 38 which reads, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” I talked to her about how if we get ready for something, then we don't have to be scared to do it.

The next day, the Spirit helped me to find another scripture, which reads: “for perfect love casteth out all fear. … I love little children with a perfect love” (Moroni 8:16-17). This was the perfect scripture! I shared it with my daughter and this one seemed to get through as I explained how Jesus loved her with this perfect love and that He would help her to throw away her fear. I added that even if she still felt a little scared, the Lord would help her feel more brave than she felt scared and she could do it anyway. We talked about how proud we would all be if she did it and how she would feel the love of Jesus in her heart helping her. I offered my prayers Sunday morning, reminded her of what the scriptures said, and we were off to church. I don't think I've ever seen her bite her nails as much as she did that morning.

Then she did it! And as she was saying her part, she was turning red in the face and smiling a little and looking back and forth from me to the congregation. When she was done, she looked at me with the happiest eyes I've ever seen and hugged me tight before going back to her seat. She was just shining.

Now you tell me that the Lord does not answer our prayers specifically right now in this day and age. I testify that He does! He lives! And He cares about each on of us so much that He will tell us, through the power of His Holy Spirit and the scriptures, how to live this life with success. He will help us learn how to live with joy and peace as our constant companions. He will answer prayer and help us to know in our minds and hearts how to raise our families.

The thoughts we have during prayer and study of His word are not always our own. They are the whisperings of a divine and loving Father who wants to help His children. He has a “perfect love” for me, for all of us. Because I am assured that He will help me, I can cast out all my fear and worry and live with joy. I can even do things that seem a little scary.