Faith, Pride, and Trials: Part I

I was reading in James this week, chapter 3. Verse 14 reads, “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.” The word “glory” has a footnote with the Greek translation, which means, “do not assume superiority over.” So, with that in mind, we could read, “If ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, do not assume superiority over the truth.”

This verse has really helped me to humble myself enough to pray to receive God's help. Who among us does not have some kind of strife in our hearts from time to time? Whether it is anger or depression or just a generally negative attitude. Usually when we are continuing to have these feelings without resolution, it is because we have not admitted the truth to ourselves. Pride plays a major role here as we continue to feel angry at God for something gone wrong or depressed that our lives aren't happier when actually they are pretty blessed.

Pride helps us justify what we are feeling and doing. Resentment and anger feeds itself as we neglect the truth. We presume to know what another person was thinking when he did such and such. We are angry because a child is repeatedly disobedient. But if we examined the situation for truth, we would see that perhaps that person had good intentions after all, or was unaware. We would see that we had been neglecting the child all day in favor of errands and housework and that we are the ones who do not have our priorities in order.

Part of admitting the truth to ourselves is admitting that we need the Lord's help to change our hearts. Sometimes part of the anger we feel is anger at ourselves for not being able to change and do what is right, or feel the right way about something. But the truth we must realize is that we cannot do it all by ourselves. Our relationship with the Savior is vital here. We must remember to pray and study His word, two things that pride keeps us from doing. Prayer and study help us to receive the blessings of His Atoning Sacrifice. He is only waiting for us to ask for His help. When we are humble enough to admit we need it, He pours out blessings upon us. He changes our hearts like no other source can.

I have had this experience many times. Everything seems to be going wrong with my week or day and I am resentful and irritable and depressed and angry. When I finally remember to take a step back and examine what is really going on, I realize that I haven't said my prayers, I haven't studied my scriptures, and I am not feeling the Holy Spirit with me. The problem was me, not my circumstances. I have knelt in prayer at these times and poured my heart out to the Lord. He hears me every time and I count it nothing less than a miracle that when I stand up again, my heart is changed and the bitter feelings have been taken away by the Lord Jesus Christ himself.