Charity Never Faileth

I had several opportunities to give and observe service to others this past week. For a while now, I've been in the process of organizing my time and household so that I could keep up with everything and not feel behind all the time. Amazingly, I feel I have succeeded, with the Lord's help, of course. This week I found that offering service to others is so much easier when I am caught up on my personal and family responsibilities. It made me wonder what the Lord expects of us in terms of giving service to others. Should I never serve outside my family unless I am caught up at home? I don't think that sounds right. So what is the right balance between service to others and our own responsibilities?

My perspective about how much service I give has improved as I have taken on this project of keeping up at home. I've come to understand that while my family members are responsible for their own portion, the cleaning of my home is actually a service to them (and it helps me, too). But it's not just cleaning that I feel I need to keep up with. It is teaching my daughter right from wrong, making sure there are good influences in her life, teaching her the scriptures and making sure all family members are communicating well and taking care of one another. I won't list everything I do here. I'm sure you moms out there know what responsibilities I am referring to.

I believe it was President Thomas S. Monson who said, “Don't ever let the solving of a problem become more important than the loving of a person.” Priorities are so important here. I don't think striking a balance is going to be the same every day or week or month or year. It will just vary from time to time. Sometimes sacrificing your own to do list in favor of serving someone else is what the Lord would have you do. And sometimes He would have you focus your service within the walls of your own home before taking your efforts outside it.

I have found that as I am sure to make prayer and scripture study a part of my regular morning routine, then I am able to listen to the voice of the Lord's Spirit in my heart. He shows me what areas need my attention. I read 1 Corinthians 13 this morning. This includes the famous passage of scripture “faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.” I prefer the KJV, which keeps the more original translation “charity” rather than love. Charity is love, after all.

Giving service is not really about a list of tasks you have done. Charity is an attitude of Christlike love. Verse 3 says, “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” We can run ourselves ragged performing acts of service, but it doesn't matter if we don't have charity, or true love, in our hearts as we do them.

The important thing as we decide how much service to give is to keep ourselves in communication with our Heavenly Father. We will feel peace when He is pleased with our efforts. If there is something He would have us to do, His Spirit will whisper it to our hearts. So my first responsibility, no matter how busy I am otherwise, is to pray and study His word enough each day so that I can hear His voice. Doing so will also help me to develop an attitude of charity in all the things I do, and remember that, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not, charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth,” (1 Cor. 13:4-8).

Perfect Love Casteth Out All Fear

Today I wanted to record the pure joy I felt as a mother watching my daughter overcome a fear of hers and speak into the microphone at church – in front of all those people watching her. The children's presentation was this weekend and my four-year-old had a few short lines to say. It was a blessing that I am a teacher of her age group. Though she is not normally in my class, I was able to be the one helping her at the microphone, whispering her part into her ear.

At the last practice, she was too afraid to do it. So, this past week, I prayed about how to help her overcome this because I knew it would be a real stepping stone for her to become more brave at being in front of crowds. She doesn't like all the eyes to be on her in any situation. So I knew this would be a great opportunity for her to feel brave and feel proud of herself and that she could do things that are a little scary.

As I prayed, the Holy Ghost impressed me that I ought to search for scriptures about fear to share with my daughter. I share a very short verse of scripture with her each day, so I started looking and found the one in D&C 38 which reads, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.” I talked to her about how if we get ready for something, then we don't have to be scared to do it.

The next day, the Spirit helped me to find another scripture, which reads: “for perfect love casteth out all fear. … I love little children with a perfect love” (Moroni 8:16-17). This was the perfect scripture! I shared it with my daughter and this one seemed to get through as I explained how Jesus loved her with this perfect love and that He would help her to throw away her fear. I added that even if she still felt a little scared, the Lord would help her feel more brave than she felt scared and she could do it anyway. We talked about how proud we would all be if she did it and how she would feel the love of Jesus in her heart helping her. I offered my prayers Sunday morning, reminded her of what the scriptures said, and we were off to church. I don't think I've ever seen her bite her nails as much as she did that morning.

Then she did it! And as she was saying her part, she was turning red in the face and smiling a little and looking back and forth from me to the congregation. When she was done, she looked at me with the happiest eyes I've ever seen and hugged me tight before going back to her seat. She was just shining.

Now you tell me that the Lord does not answer our prayers specifically right now in this day and age. I testify that He does! He lives! And He cares about each on of us so much that He will tell us, through the power of His Holy Spirit and the scriptures, how to live this life with success. He will help us learn how to live with joy and peace as our constant companions. He will answer prayer and help us to know in our minds and hearts how to raise our families.

The thoughts we have during prayer and study of His word are not always our own. They are the whisperings of a divine and loving Father who wants to help His children. He has a “perfect love” for me, for all of us. Because I am assured that He will help me, I can cast out all my fear and worry and live with joy. I can even do things that seem a little scary.

Communication is the Key

We talk about all different kinds of keys in our culture. Keys open doors and opportunities and unlock power or success. We even go so far as to tell our significant other “You have the key to my heart.” Something that has been brought to my attention repeatedly over the years is that communication is the key to life. Perhaps it could even be called the secret of happiness.

Without question, every single time there has been a problem in my marriage, it has been because of a breakdown in communication. The same goes for any friendship problem I've had, as well as most of my challenges with children. Lack of communication is also the source of stagnation in my spiritual life.

The first and best way to find an answer to any problem, is, of course, prayer. What is prayer? Communication with our Father in Heaven. If Satan can distract us from prayer in any way, he will try. I cannot count the number of times I've thought, Okay, time for morning prayer, and then on my way toward the spot where I was going to kneel, I have stopped to return an object to its rightful place, then seen the mountain of laundry waiting to be folded, then felt the pressure of the days activities and time creeping up on me, answered the phone and before I know it, I am in the van driving on my first errand, never having uttered a word of prayer. Needless to say, I pray a lot when I'm driving, with my eyes open of course.

I really believe two of Satan's best tools are distraction and lack of communication. The latter can be brought about in so many ways, including our own pride or feeling of hopelessness. But we need to remember that God is our Father. Do you think He would send us here without setting up a way that we could communicate with him when we need to? He wants us to pray to Him for help! Not just in generalities, but with specifics. If we pray specifically, He will answer us specifically.

And as far as communicating with other people, take courage! People are people and as long as you are being respectful, you can usually find that some misunderstanding has occurred, or that a person has much more depth to them than you previously thought. Communication brings the discovery that most of us do actually have good intentions and are doing the best we can. Most of us aren't trying to hurt anyone else. So, pray for humility and take the time and effort it takes to communicate! It is so worth it. Many times, it is the key that unlocks the door to happiness.

Heart Transplant

Today, I listened to a speaker from the LDS General Conference, held every six months and broadcast on BYUTV. Elder Renlund gave a very insightful analogy that I would like to recount here, because it is so relevant to what I am trying to do with this blog.

He talked about how a heart transplant procedure is done. The human body's reaction to receiving a new organ is to reject it. Medications have to be administered to help the body suppress this reaction and accept the new heart. People have to continue taking this medication daily to prevent problems from occurring. He was surprised at how often he would come across people skipping doses and becoming negligent about their medications.

He related this to the mighty change of heart we experience when we are converted through Jesus Christ. The tendency of the “natural man” is to reject the new, spiritually changed heart. We must actively administer “medications” that will keep our heart from hardening and turning back into stone. These medications are, of course, regular prayer and scripture study, service, worship, and obedience to the commandments, etc. In other words, living what we believe. If we skip doses and become negligent about our prayers and study, we can slip back into old habits and our hearts will not stay as close to Jesus Christ.

Thanks for the great analogy, Elder Renlund! I hope that I am in my small way helping my readers to remember to keep their hearts soft and close to the Savior.