Time Out for Women

This past weekend I attended my third Time Out for Women Conference, this one in Richmond, Virginia. These conferences are always so uplifting. I always come home with renewed determination to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and feel the joy it brings.

The flavor of this Conference was a little different this time. In the past, I've gone and spent the time mostly being made to feel better about how I was doing. I've thrived on hearing others who relate to me and what I go through as a Christian, a wife, a mother. This time, a few other messages came across, albeit in a very strengthening, empowering way. I came away feeling challenged to do more, to become more.

One message was that, yes, we all have trials, and they keep piling on sometimes. We get to where we think we're in too deep and we cannot handle it any longer. Yet with an eternal perspective, we can see that right in the midst of trials and hardship is where we want to be. That's because the trials put us in a place where we seek to be the closest to the Lord that we have ever been. They make us aware of His tender mercies in our lives. Were the trials not there, we could not see His awesome power in alleviating them or in causing us to feel peace and grow in their midst. We must open our hearts to the great Atoning Sacrifice of the Lord, and allow his power to transform us.

Another message was that Jesus Christ can heal all wounds and bring peace to any soul no matter what has happened to them in the past. An African woman bore solemn witness of how the Savior has healed her and continues to help her feel peace daily as she seeks Him and commits her life to serving Him. She experienced horrific crimes against her in Africa when she was thirteen and she and a group of friends were attacked, and some were terribly mutilated and killed. Somehow she was rescued from death at their hands. She quoted scripture after scripture from memory about how He helps us. She spoke of one of the women who stood with her in the final moments of rescue from their attackers. She kept in touch with this woman over the years. She said when she speaks with her now, her friend says to her that she speaks as if nothing ever happened. That is because the Lord has healed her. She even spoke of forgiving her attackers, and how the Lord forgave those who mocked him, “for they know not what they do.” She talked of being so grateful for the small hygiene kit she'd received from the Church as a refugee and how she was able to share it with twenty-five women who were deeply grateful. Hearing her message was very eye-opening about other parts of the world and how much more difficult the trials of others can be.

After this, I surprisingly met a South African woman who was also attending the Conference. She has been living in the US for 3 years, after 17 years of waiting to get a green card to move here with her family. Her home in South Africa, as everyone's home, was protected from gangs with black bars on every window, alarms on the roof, six foot high walls surrounding it with barbed wire at the top. That is how they live! Schools have to have extreme security there. We have no idea how great we have it in America! Again, my eyes were opened to my extremely blessed situation.

The overriding message was reliance on the Savior. We must truly search the scriptures and pray over them until we are filled with the love of God and His Holy Spirit. That is the only way we can face our trials. We were never meant to face them alone! Life wasn't meant to be easy, but it can be peaceful and joyful. You can find holiness in the midst of chaos. You do it by searching the scriptures, prayerfully asking the Lord specifically for what you need, (not just asking that he bless everyone else), and going all out, leaping with faith toward the goal of becoming the person you were meant to become, and seeking small ways to serve others daily. The Lord has a plan for your life. He knows your struggles. He's allowed them so that they will drive you to seek Him. With every trial, we have another opportunity to choose faith. We have to turn our hearts over to Him completely so that He can transform us into new beings. We often pray to be relieved of stress and trials without realizing that it is our trials that challenge us and change us and ultimately save our eternal lives!

One speaker recounted how his born-again Christian friends would ask him, “Have you been saved by grace?” He would emphatically answer, “Yes! Have you been changed by grace?” We know that the Lord saves us, but what does he save us for? We will not only return to live with our Heavenly Father, but we will feel comfortable living there because we will be like Him. When the Savior performed his first miracle of changing the water into wine, He was announcing in a powerful way that He has the power to change things – even things that seem impossible to change. If you cry out, “This is just who I am, I can't be any better,” then you are denying His power to work in your life.

Practical advice included: Identify the least holy moments in your daily life and try to do something to make them a little more holy and remember the Savior. (Such as piling all the kids in the car – say I love you to each one individually as you buckle them in, or put on some music while doing the dinner clean-up). Also, find friends who go through what you go through and interact with them. Spend half an hour Sunday planning and reflecting on your family's interaction. Frequently get away from it all for 24 hours to just reflect about life and evaluate where you are and where you want to be and what you need.

A few of my favorite quotes were:
“If you can't stand it anymore, kneel!”
“A person who is too busy to pray is busier than the Lord would have him or her to be.”
“LDS stands for Let's Do Something.”
“We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become.”
“Tribulation can make you bitter or better.”
“Our relationship with Christ should be like the air we breathe.”
“Don't be the one thing that stands in your way.”
“If it was right when you prayed about it, it's right now.”
“We gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)

As usual, Time Out for Women was a great experience. I am just as determined as before to do all the Lord has commanded me to do, to become the woman he meant for me to be – but now I remember that I must rely on His power to help me each and every day.