White Doves and Gratitude

Today was wonderful! This is not the first time this has happened to me, where a period that feels like a mist of darkness is followed by a day that is simply perfect. I mean, so perfect that I grew more and more pleasantly astonished as the afternoon turned to evening and the day continued to be filled with joy and goodness.

Okay, okay, so the morning did not start off the greatest, I guess, now that I think about it. The time change helped my 21-month-old wake up at 5 am asking for “ro-ro's” (cheerios). And I went to bed late the night before. I laid in bed until he brought me a marker with no lid. Then I figured I'd better get up and see what he was up to in the next room. It helped my attitude that he had not marked on anything but himself and I was hungry, too. So we shared a bowl. These early morning wakings also afford us more time to just play and look at books. It was time for me to enjoy my son. When it was time, we woke up sister with a cheerio book and the morning was off. Somehow, I stayed on task and everyone was happy and she got on the bus on time with all of her breakfast actually in her tummy.

Then I was able to go back to sleep for an hour before my husband left for work. This made up for the 5 am awakening. We said another prayer together before my husband left for work, a humble plea for help at the beginning of a new week.

So...then we played trains. Then I was able to accomplish a few things while James played by himself. Oh, okay and I guess nap time went a little awry, too...didn't feed him enough lunch, apparently. But somehow it didn't mess up my day. He still went down for his nap and I still had plenty of time before Jesstyn got home. Then I was inspired to write. And I finished a chapter! The chapter I'd been trying to finish for a year and a half! Hello!? That was awesome. And the timing was just perfect. I finished right before Jesstyn got off the bus and James woke up.

And when I went outside to get her, it was a beautifully perfect day! Picturesque. Except a picture can't convey the perfect temperature and the feel of the sunlight or the crunch of the leaves. Or the shrieks of laughter from my children or the thrill in their eyes as they played. My dad came by for a surprise visit. We raked up the biggest pile of leaves of the season. Jesstyn made leaf angels. We went over to our neighbor's house and picked some turnips that were beautiful.

The highlight of the afternoon, though, was watching two white doves fly above our heads. It was the first time I'd ever seen white doves. These magnificent creatures stood out brightly against all that was around them. No matter where they flew, we could still clearly see them. I was so impressed with their loveliness and thought it is no wonder that Heavenly Father chose this bird as a symbol of his Holy Spirit. Those who are filled with the Holy Ghost are a light to the world and all who are around them. The Spirit brings an amazing light to our understanding.

My father and I gazed at them in wonder. I commented on their whiteness and he told me of a vase he created in honor of my mother. It has three candles at the top, the middle one higher. It stands for Christ and the two side candles are for the thieves who were crucified beside him. The base is snow white. He said, with tears in his eyes and his face turning red, “That is what your mother is to me.” He paused and added, “I know none of us are perfect and white, but to me, that's what she is.” I nodded as I gazed into his eyes and felt thankful for him and his genuine love for my mother.

We said good-bye to “PePop” and went inside to do homework. We had an early dinner and used our “Thanking Cap” inspired by last night's Family Night lesson, where we had to say five things we were thankful for when wearing the cap. The sun set. We caught the beautiful scene out the front window of the glow of descending twilight on the yellow-leaved trees. We had time for baths. We had time for a card game together with Daddy when he got home. We read scriptures. My daughter said our prayer and she said “We thank thee...” for more than just “this day.” I enjoyed putting my son to bed. I enjoyed a conversation on the phone and the feeling of helping someone. Now I am writing about it all. It is the way a day should end.

What is different about this day? Certainly, the Lord intervened. Yet does he not intervene each and every day of my life to give me blessings, even many times blessings I do not deserve? What was different about today?

The difference was that I felt grateful for it. Because I was not busy being negative or complaining or worrying or stressing or feeling behind or feeling obligated or feeling resentful or feeling disconnected...I was free to feel joy.

I felt so much joy that I could not help but feel grateful for it. Grateful to the Lord, whose hand is in my life each day. How much clearer I see my life when I acknowledge His hand in it! D&C 59:21 says, “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.”

Instead of lamenting the loss of sleep, I enjoyed the time with my son, hoping that I would sleep later. When the morning went well, I was pleased. When I napped, I was grateful. When I kept a slow pace so I could just play with my son, I enjoyed watching him learn how to properly play with the train set. When I worked on some things for the end of the year, I was not unhappy about it taking up my time, but was grateful to have the time to do it before life got too busy and overwhelming with the holidays. When my son wouldn't go to sleep, I was still able to let those events flow with my housework and still get things done – and I was happy for it to work out that way. When I sat down to write, I prayed for inspiration and then received it. I was so grateful.

I continued throughout the day to notice its beauty and how well the timing of everything was working out. Each time I took note of a blessing, my thoughts were underscored by the knowledge that it wasn't my doing; it was the Lord's. That is what made the difference. My husband told me about the beautiful doves just yesterday. He sees them often, apparently, but I told him I'd never noticed them. And do you know what he said? “Look up sometimes.” Today, I did.