Toys and Time

Does anyone else ever just feel like a “stuff manager?” Today was the first chance I had to organize since the annual flood of Christmas (plus one birthday) toys into our home. I threw away broken princess crowns, put all the dress-up stuff in the dress-up bin, and stored away baby toys that my toddler is now past. That last one was the heart-breaker.

As I sorted through toys that both my daughter, who is now 6, and my son, 2, had played with, memories of laughter and giggles came with some toys. Others only brought that surge of mother-guilt that comes to me when I realize I never did even take the time to teach my child how a particular toy worked or the appropriate way to play with it. Like that little plastic butterfly with the tiles in the middle that make noise when you flip them over. I never taught James that you can flip them each over in such a way that they make one bigger picture to look at, like a puzzle.

Some of our large collection of toys comes from the fact that we have a great many extended family members who shower gifts on the children at holiday time. Yet I have to admit that much of it comes from me, their mother, who loves to shower them with gifts as well. Somehow, getting something new to play with just says “I love you” to me. If you've ever read “The Five Love Languages,” you will know what I mean when I say one of my love languages is gifts. It doesn't have to be expensive; it can be as simple as a handwritten note, but the tangible, to me, is a symbol of the love that went into it.

Unfortunately, as the pile of guilt-producing toys grew larger than the memory-producing ones, I realized that a child's central source of joy over a toy is that someone else took the time to join with him as he played with it. What a shame to have a house filled with toys, but very little joys to remember them by. The same thing is true of all relationships, not just those with our children. What good is an Ipod if no one will dance to the music with me?

Tomorrow, I am calling my daughter away from her typical past time (art) to join with me and James in a great big party – complete with the tea set her Great-Grandma Leigh gave her and seats for each stuffed animal.