Remembering

So for the past month I have been wanting to blog about all the amazing joys I've experienced since I started home schooling. There have been SO many!! Truly, this is one of the best things I've ever done. I feel more fulfilled than ever, and I am taking great joy in watching my children learn and become great friends. Yet tonight, I was sitting here feeling defeated after one of the more trying days, maybe the most trying, since we began four weeks ago.

I won't bore you with the details of why – mostly, it had to do with waking up tired and attempting to introduce my two year old to Quiet Time in place of his Nap, then realizing (too late) that no one is ready for him to give up his nap, including him, and that I need to just shorten his naps rather than give them up altogether. The mounting frustration dampened my mothering skills. Add the rain and there you have a recipe for a difficult day in home school.

Just recently, I was telling someone that we are given our problems so that we can learn to turn to Jesus Christ to have help in solving, or at least enduring, them. Life has a funny way of testing me on whether or not I follow any of the advice that I dole out.

As I sat here, wondering what went wrong today, I realized that I had not sincerely turned to the Lord for help. Oh, there were a few small prayers throughout the day where I pled for His help and did receive strength to keep going, but they were brief and the results were short-lived before I returned to being put-out that things were not going very well. Had I truly remembered Him, His nature, and thought through how He might handle things, I would have knelt down on my knees and prayed much longer than a brief moment. I would have asked for His forgiveness sooner. I would have asked for more specific guidance and then waited reverently for His Spirit to fill me, and His answer to come. My attitude would have changed because of the power of His Atonement and I would have had a lovely afternoon after a tough morning instead of what I had.

What was I thinking? Well, I guess I wasn't much. I was too tossed about by the events of the day. I did not draw myself away and create a space for prayer and receiving His inspiration. Had I done so, even for fifteen minutes with a sincere heart, I would have seen Him change the tide of the day. I know, because He has done it for me many times before. How could I forget Him? Just two days ago, I partook of the bread and water and renewed my covenant to remember Him.

Tomorrow will be better. I know it.